Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
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