it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize
