im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
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