so explain again why im purple
no
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
