i permit you to call me
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
