I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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