i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Randomize
