Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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