And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
third nipple confirmed
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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