We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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