i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Randomize
