I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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