it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Randomize
