i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Randomize
