My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
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