Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
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