it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
