so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
