i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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