And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
