You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
