I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
