Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
