I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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