hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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