i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
