If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Randomize
