so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
