The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
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