you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
So much Jack, so little girl.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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