i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize
