Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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