last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
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