loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Randomize
