Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Randomize