Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
