Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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