Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
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