Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
