so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Randomize
