I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
