Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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