I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
