Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
