This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
