We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Randomize
