Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
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