Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
not ubering you a puppy
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
