I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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