can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Randomize
