There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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