Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
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